Tuesday 27 October 2009

Vegas,Benidorm,and Crocodile Mick.

Here we go again,I just started writing a blog, and was into it when the computer decided to update stuff and wiped it,as I was saying before the interruption,Le blade has gone to Benidorm on a cultural exchange for 2 weeks,it is probably marginally better than 2 weeks in Armley prison,on his return he shall be known as Ian Vegas ,for our US readers benefit,we have an "alleged" comedy programme on tv, set in this slightly down market Spanish holiday resort ,one of the main actors is named Johnny Vegas,who is in real life a drunken slob,not that I personally hold that against him.
Crocodile Mick rang us yesterday from OZ,to complain about me sending him the wrong phone number for our place,this being the reason he has not phoned,in reality he needed to exclude the 0 from the area code ,which his dear wife informed him would facilitate the call,he then told me to get a pencil( I think maybe they are not yet into pens and joined up writing in the outback) and write the proper number to ring from OZ,and was taken aback when I said, "I already know this number as it's my own"all this because he will not use skype as he does'nt like computers,after some little banter and whole sentences of expletives of an Australian nature,I told him to turn the skype programme on and Sheila would talk to Debbie his long suffering wife ,which is what happened ,our itinery is now in place,the Millson lads are excluded from the decision making process as being unfit for purpose,and he is back to boosting the profits of VB brewery.
I think the former prisoners of her majesty(pohms) are a little laid back and can only think it is the sun which acts as a soporific,he says its geriatric dementia and Victoria Bitter combined.
It has been decided that we shall drive leisurely through the outback up to their place taking about 3 days,we insisted no camping will be considered on this journey, due to the possibility of life threatening reptiles and spiders displaying an unwelcome interest,I do know he has a "ute" vehicle but hopefully he also has a normal car as I don't think the two girls will appreciate bouncing about in the back among the crates of beer and two bottles of sherry,and him saying"She's a good sort your Sheila"and me replying "Thee wait till we stop!!!!!!! tha waint think so then"

Friday 23 October 2009

Spike

Not been much to write about on the blog recently,but I was cheered up by looking at Spike Milligan videos on Montana Mike's blog,I remember a tale told by one of Spike's pals that he once lay down in the doorway of an undertakers shop,folded his arms across his chest ,closed his eyes,and shouted, SHOP!
I remember visiting a restaurant when we were in Kansas City ,and during a conversation with the waiter,who was a theology student in his spare time,I recommended Spike's "The old Testament according to Terence Milligan",it would have been a treat to know if the lad read it or not,and would he have taken it seriously?
I suppose now I shall be looking at the whole lot of the Milligan videos,which in itself is not an unpleasant pastime,and if busy business tycoons in Kansas can find the time I am sure I can.
Sam the Pom has called time on the excess spending of Sandra and is now back to his old frugal self,he is I think modelling himself on me which is not a wise thing to do,as this frugality is frowned upon by those who are not able to see the justice of it,and can lead to satirical comments about wallets being moth breeding facilities.
Ciao

Monday 12 October 2009

Nettles and stuff

Just had a couple of hours chopping nettles in the ditch next to the hen hut,unfortunately hens will eat anything but nettles,and I have to chop them down around three times a year,so they can get out through the ditch to the field,I notice cows don't eat them either,and yet the tree huggers keep telling us to cook them up and eat them!
The weather is sunny but a cold wind blowing from the north is keeping down the temperature,it is supposed to be warmer tomorrow,though the nettle chopping had me sweating,almost as much as buying a pint in a pub.
Sophie the dog has turned into a mole catcher over in Kansas City,we could do with her here,I noticed a few mole hills in the dyke/ditch so I think there may be a lot of worms to be had,hens love them and gulp em down like spaghetti,(worms not moles)so much for todays nature study,other news is Le Blade is on the internet with his house,so its shortly goodye to him,and I shan't have a playmate down here.
I did find a stone cottage at midhopestone but when I noticed the grade 2 listed building bit did not pursue the matter,though I only looked at it to kid Le blade I was moving onto the pennines,which it has to be said is spectacular scenery.

Monday 5 October 2009

Exodus

Well its done! Le Blades have put their house on the market and are looking for property in the Sheffield area,if I had the shekels I would not hesitate to buy it,and I recommend it to potential buyers ,sadly it has not suited them living in the sticks and there is no point in staying where you are not happy,they will be sadly missed here on the prairie.
Montana Mike is a little like a dentist on his latest blog,"down in the mouth"I think he needs to go on holiday for a few days to florida,that would cheer him up.it does the job for me visiting the sunshine state,so if it works on me it will work on anybody, I particularly recommend the emerald coast on the florida panhandle,wonderful pure white sand and emerald green sea,it has to be seen to appreciate it.
For the reader requesting informaton on wacom,it is a tablet on which you can replicate various art tools,paint,pastel etc.an example is the miners head illustration to the right of my blog which was done with simulation pastel,any further requests for information on IT matters will receive my full attention.
The computer is back up and running thanks to a very skilled young Lancashire lad from Chorley,who was fortified with apple turnovers with icing on top during his marathon task,and who's initial diagnosis of the problem was confirmed by sony technicians.
Weather is a bit grey at the moment and rain is forecast during this week,which will please the local farmers as drought conditions obtain at the moment with dust blowing off the fields,and newly sown seed needing some moisture to get it started.

Saturday 3 October 2009

Computers

Today musing on computers,I think they are a wonderful tool if you have a degree in computing or one to one tuition like Sonia,failing this they are the most frustrating invention I have ever encountered,words take on a different meaning to their original use and instructions on how insert various programmes are pure double dutch,in fact I know how Crocodile Mick feels about the bloody things,they fill you with a rage born of frustration and initiate a desire to be rid of the damn things once and for all,having said all that they allow me to write a diatribe like this and for it to be read by someone with nothing better to do with their time,anywhere in the world.